


I'm awake now (I don't want to go back to sleep)

by AbsorbingMisery



Category: The 100, The 100 (TV), clexa - Fandom
Genre: Clexa, Destiny, F/F, Instinct, Love at First Sight, Meant To Be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-17
Updated: 2015-07-17
Packaged: 2018-04-09 17:50:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4358552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbsorbingMisery/pseuds/AbsorbingMisery
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes you just need to feel, and trust your instincts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm awake now (I don't want to go back to sleep)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LilianaFox](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilianaFox/gifts).



> Dedicated to my beautiful, sweet and loving wife, Liliana.
> 
> Ai hod yu in, otaim.

 

The leaves are rustling on the trees, falling and floating to rest upon the ground. I love this time of year. The leaves are beautiful in their orange, yellow and reds and the air has that crisp and cool bite to it. It’s getting colder, but to me it’s the most beautiful time of the year. It’s too bad it doesn’t last longer.

I sigh and walk over to my tree. Okay so it’s not mine, but I come here twice a week and sit against it and just connect. It’s peaceful here near the lake in the middle of the woods. I sit down at the base of the tree and lean back against it. My legs are outstretched and my hands rest in my lap. I close my eyes and just breathe and listen. No one is around and the only sounds I hear are the sounds of the nature around me.

And leaves crunching under shoes.

I open my eyes and turn my head towards the small well-traveled path I always take to get to this spot and my eyes widen. The woman is beautiful and I can’t help but watch her. She’s got a slight frame but I can tell by the way she carries herself that she is strong. Her hair is long and dark and despite the cooling weather, her skin maintains a warm glow. I find myself wondering if she always has that glow or if she spends a lot of time in the sun.

She’s wearing jeans with a white top and a dark gray jacket and converse. Simple and comfortable yet nothing about her is simple. I feel taken with her instantly and that feeling only intensifies when she glances in my direction and our eyes meet. I’m frozen; suspended in a place where time and space no longer exist.

I find myself on my feet quickly, but don’t move from my tree. I’m not sure what is happening and yet I know the feeling all too well. It’s familiar, it’s warm and it’s _home_. It’s ridiculous, but it’s not. Is it?

 

My eyes haven’t left her but hers are now looking up into the sky as if searching for answers. I feel like I’m intruding on a very private moment but for the life of me I can’t bring myself to look away. Something about her is beyond captivating me. Perhaps it’s the way her hair is blowing in the breeze carrying her soft scent over to me and I shudder. Maybe it’s the way the last rays of the sun are caressing her skin as if it’s trying to give her the last bit of warmth it can before the night takes over. Or then, maybe it has something to do with the ethereal glow that seems to be surrounding her, as if coming from the heavens themselves.

I see her shoulders lower in what I assume is a release of a breath and she lowers her eyes from the sky and turns back towards me. I feel more than see the resolve in her body language as she again continues making her way down the path and getting closer to me with every step.

She stops when she is two feet in front of me and I realize I’m holding my breath and try as subtly as I can to release the air in my lungs gently so that she doesn’t notice. A small quirk of her lip clues me in to the fact that I am so not subtle. She’s seeing right through my attempt at being casual and a tremor courses it’s way through me. Her growing smile will be my undoing if she keeps looking at me this way. I don’t know how, but I think she knows this as well.

An unseen force pushes me forward but it’s not rough, more of a gentle nudge that makes me take a step forward. The smirk remains on her face and I find myself smiling in return, feeling my cheeks heat up with a blush. There’s now only a foot of space between us and I can’t stop myself from taking in the features of her face. Her skin is smooth and clear and her lips are small but full and I wonder what they would feel like to kiss. My eyes flicker up to look into hers and I feel my breath catch once more. They may be taking on a darker shade than normal right now, but I can tell a light lives within them. A light that’s begging to burn at it’s brightest, if only it is tended to.

My hand moves of it’s own will as I brush some loose strands of her hair away from her forehead and out of her eyes so that I can see all of her more clearly. She inhales sharply and it’s my turn to smile, knowing I too am causing an affect on her. Her eyes captivate me and I know I want to drown in them, never to return. They are piercing me, seeing everything I’ve ever been and all that I long to be. My heart picks up its pace as her eyes flutter closed when I cup her cheek with my palm and she leans into it. I feel my heart break at this gentle surrender and I’ve never felt something so good.

She pulls one of her hands out of her jacket pocket and mimics my hold, her hand now cupping my cheek and I find myself repeating her reaction without pause. With my eyes closed and her warm hand on my cheek I feel everything. I feel the crisp fall air and I feel the leaves blowing around us. I feel her warmth sinking into my skin at our close proximity and I feel her longing as clearly as my own. I feel her acceptance and her surrender and I can only hope that she feels mine too because in this moment, I am lost in her. And I’ve never been more okay with a feeling.

I choose to never be found again if I can stay lost in this woman before me. A woman I’ve had contact with for a matter of minutes, but feel as if I have known my entire life and every life before then. A woman that I will know in every life to follow. I am this woman and this woman is me. We are one; united by an unseen force and held together by a connection of intense love so strong that even time would lie down and be still for.

 

I don’t know how long we stood there, lost in each other’s eyes and just cupping each other’s cheeks. It felt like it could have been days or minutes, but it was of no matter. Time no longer exists.

We somehow make it down to the water’s edge and find ourselves sitting at the end of an old worn dock with our legs dangling off the edge. We’re sitting side by side, with every available bit of our bodies touching and our hands are clasped together resting on our legs. We still haven’t spoken but it feels as if nothing needs to be said. The feeling of the energy between us, the unwavering connection…says more than we could ever put into words. I know what she is feeling, just as surely as she can feel all of me. A slight turn of my head and her eyes immediately meeting mine only confirm this for me and I feel my heart soar and her hand squeezes mine just a little tighter.

I rest my head on her shoulder and sigh in utter contentedness when she rests her head upon my own and allows her left hand to trail soft patterns on the back of mine that she holds. I feel myself melting further and only briefly wonder if I’ll end up a part of this lake before the night falls.

The wind picks up and is cooler near the lake, but the moon above is full and bright and is casting the most gorgeous glow over to us. It appears to be lighting a path along the water to point directly at us. It may be silly, but I take it as another sign. I shiver slightly and find myself leaning into her further, as if that were even possible. I want to be surprised when she releases my hand to wrap an arm around my back to pull me in closer, but how can I be when it feels so right and so welcomed? That’s right, I can’t. Because I am this woman and this woman is me.

Being this close to her is like being charged to full strength. The aura around her is so strong and vibrant and I wonder how she maintains it for so long. My eyes grow slightly heavy and I shake my head a bit to try and clear some of the fog. She only holds me tighter against her before releasing me to remove her jacket and then pulling me down to lie back on the dock with her. She guides my head to her chest and drapes her jacket over the both of us and I nearly weep at her tenderness and care. Who is this goddess I was granted to have in my life? Is she even real?

I begin to wonder if she can read my thoughts when a soft rubbing on my back begins and I feel a soft kiss pressed against my hair. Her nose lingers and I cling to her tightly and shudder as I realize she is smelling my hair and humming in approval. Her hum reverberates through her chest and I am drawn to the sound as I raise my head just slightly to press a kiss over her heart before settling back down against her. I never want to leave her arms. Is it possible she feels it too?

Her soft caress of my back continues and her nose is still pressed into my hair. She’s alternating soft kisses and inhaling my scent and I have never felt more love than I have in these moments with her. In all the love and peace I feel surrounding us, a slight bit of panic and doubt begins to creep up inside me. I grind my teeth, trying to fight it off, not wanting to ruin this precious time I’ve been granted. I don’t know how long it will last. That thought causes me to tense and my breath to still and it only takes her free hand cupping my check to raise my eyes to her for me to know she has noticed the change in me.

Still, we do not speak but her eyes are pleading into mine as if begging me to just be lost in the moment with her. They tell me I am safe, that she is here and that everything will be okay. And I trust her. I trust her implicitly. We’ve been in each other’s presence for a matter of hours, for the first time, and already I know I can trust her, because I am this woman and this woman is me. The moment I saw her, the moment our eyes met…I knew. She knew. The force in the sky knew.

I stare into her eyes a few minutes more, conveying everything I can before the intensity of the emotions inside me threaten to overwhelm me. I know I have to do something; otherwise I may combust right here in her arms. I keep contact with her as I prop myself up on my elbow and use my free hand to trace my fingertips over her face softly. One of her arms is still holding me around my back and the other now has a firm grip on my hip. She closes her eyes and I swear I hear her release a soft purr and I’m done for. I am no longer able to contain this feeling and lean forward to connect my lips to hers.

I know we both feel the shock, the heat, the longing and the filling of a void within us at the same time. Our lips are still lovingly pressed together, moving just slightly as if afraid to break the spell we find ourselves under. The kisses are cautious but full, our lips melding and bending to one another. There is no fight for dominance, just a sharing of a moment between to pairs of lips that have found their home.

My lips part first and I whimper at the feel of her tongue brushing over my bottom lip to seek out my own. We are perfectly in sync…in perfect harmony with one another. I press she yields, she moves, I move as if lost in a timeless dance that only we know the steps to.

Our kisses grow hotter, fueled by the longing and the desire now coursing through us. I’m pressed back into the dock and suddenly she is hovering above me. She’s on her hands and knees, not pressing her body into mine. I whimper, and reach for her. One hand behind her neck, pulling her back down into a kiss while the other slides down her sides and rests gently at the small of her back, applying a small amount of pressure to indicate what I want. She doesn’t let me down as she immediately responds and allows the length of her body to fully press into mine. We both moan at the contact.

Goosebumps are all over my body but this time it’s not due to the cold. It’s the feel of her body, of the heat she gives off and the soft puffs of air laced with a soft hum that leave her mouth in between kisses. It’s the slightest sound, but it drives me wild with need of her. She realizes this and shifts ever so slightly to slide one of her legs between mine and we both let out a groan at the feel of our thighs between each other’s legs applying a gentle pressure to a very sensitive spot.

Our eyes snap open and lock, both hearing a bit each other’s voice in that groan for the first time. We share soft smiles and she again has that quirk in her lips and I know then that will always get to me and I plan to bring it out as much as possible. Her face loses its smile slowly and the air around us thickens. She leans forward to claim my lips again and the increased pressure between my legs causes her to catch another soft moan with her lips.

Her left arm is propped up beside my head, with her fingers rubbing gently in my hair while her right hand cups my cheek as she continues to kiss me, before slowly lowering. I can’t stop myself from raising my leg also, coming into contact with her hot center and I tremble at the groan that tears from low in her throat. Her hand slides down my chest, pausing to squeeze my breast softly, kneading it with her fingers. My hands are not idle either, how can they be with the epitome of perfection on top of me?

My hands are both busy rubbing up and down her back, one hand scratching softly at the back of her neck and gripping her hair, while the other slides down her side and grips at her hip tightly, pulling her into me more. Her body begins to gently grind against mine as her lips trail down my neck and she finds a spot no one else has and sucks at it. My eyes shut tightly and my breath quickens into a soft pant that seems to fuel her desire as her hips grind a little harder and a little faster. I buck my hips up slightly and she rips away from my neck to hungrily attack my lips and sucks on my offered tongue. I grasp her hip tightly with one hand, my nails digging in while the other is tight in her hair, holding her in place as our bodies thrust and grind together.

Both of us are panting now, hot breaths washing over our faces in between sinful kisses and longing stares into each other’s eyes as we move together, our bodies in perfect sync as we seek out our release. Her eyes are hooded, lost in desire but shine with the light of a thousand suns. I feel my body begin to shake and feel my control slipping as I cling to her desperately and her eyes are full of adoration and trust. I know she sees the same thing reflected in mine as we close the gap between us and lose ourselves to one another. Our lower bodies jerk and spasm with release, our lips loving and catching the sounds, and the world around us bearing witness to something eternal.

Our breaths are slowing and our bodies our cooling but our lips remain locked in their private dance. Tongues tease playfully and tenderly and soft sighs and hums are exchanged. We’re lying side by side facing each other with our arms and legs entwined while our lips and noses brush together lazily. We pull back now and then, just to take in the sight of each other and sometimes glance above to the night sky and see the brightest star shining as if it’s only shining down on us. It makes the moment even more intense and special, and truly feels like coming home.

We’re told that one knows what the future holds, but my heart and my soul do. They have found a love to transcend lifetimes, to never waiver and to never fault. They have found their home.

 _She_ has found me.

 

I am this woman and this woman is me.

 

~


End file.
